Happy Anniversary....
A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off? - Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, All is Vanity, 1991
One year ago yesterday, I almost 'lifted off' as the quote states. I had and still do have much unfinished business but I try to remember that I need to live each day as if it was the last now. I'm only 32 years old and single...I had no will written out so my family would know what to do, and most of my friends didn't even know I was going in for surgery because it was suppose to be really routine...just breaking up some VERY stubborn kidney stones. I guess you just never know when your time will be so you need to be somewhat prepared so you don't leave your loved ones in any more stress then they would already be under. Anyways, I wish I had some deep thoughts to leave you with...something that I learned from it all or came away with. I really have no words of wisdom other then live with no regrets and always be prepared. Make lots of memories!
I've decided to post here the blogs I wrote on my myspace account back when this happened so you can have greater insight to just how lucky I was to walk away...God must not have yet prepared a place for me.
_____________________________________________________________
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Kidney Stoned
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Life
It was the worst of times, it was the worse of times...
So, imagine this....you plan a fun vacation to visit an old friend, the only fun thing you have planned the WHOLE year. The two of you have gathered a list of all the things to do and see in the week you will be gone. Life seems great.
Then it happens.
2 weeks before your trip, you notice blood in your urine. VISIBLE blood. You go to the Dr who can not determine why this is occurring and wants you to 'wait a few weeks' to see if anything changes. UHM HELLO!?!?! I know you are a trained professional but how can something like that be OKAY to wait on especially when I'm leaving on vacation!!!!
1 week before the trip the forest surrounding the lake you plan to camp at starts on fire and is only 55% contained by the end of that week....PLAN B PLEASE
and then it happens, 2 days before your trip you wake up before anyone else in the world is stirring with a sharp shooting pain to the left of your abdomen that expands to your left lower back. You lay there in denial. Maybe it was something I ate...I'll just roll over and wait for it to go away, but it doesn't. Then the nausea and vomiting set in. It's 430 in the morning and if you've ever experienced this pain you know it's your damn kidney passing a stone. You make endless calls to your friends and family in hopes they will wake up to rush you to the hospital so you don't have to call 911(oh the embarrassment and fee!) HOWEVER, NOBODY is answering. You can't drive yourself to the ER due to the throwing up and being fetaled up in the riling pain you're experiencing. Eventually, an angel in disguise returns your call 2 hours later and answers your plea for help.
Well, happy STINKING vacation to me. Instead of soaking up the rays and sights in California this week I am stuck at home trying to pass a kidney stone and after two visits to the ER still no luck. Urologists are apparently more patient about these things and will not even let you in their office until a good 3 weeks have passed. I was thinking this morning how ridiculous this all is. Anyone in health care will agree (and those fellow Kidney Stoners) that this pain is WORSE then having a baby and who the heck tells a women going into labor to go home and see what happens first?!?!?! So I have to live off of nausea meds, 800 mgs of Motrin every 4 hours (which yes does mean me having to wake up twice during the night to stay on top of the pain), and if worse comes to worse hit the narcotics - OH and did I mention you have to strain your pee?!?!?! This will not be possible once I have to return to work on Monday.
Anyways, I am very depressed about all of this for many different reasons and had to vent. Thanks for the ear America. Cheers to stone free living.
Hope you are having a fun week without me kolt!
______________________________________
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Current mood: thankful
Category: Life
Please see *Kidney Stoned* prior to reading this blog for background....
Okay, the saga never ends. If I didn't know me I'd think I was a drama queen FOR SURE! So, my kidney stone that altered my vacation plans? Well, it never went away on it's own. After 3+ weeks of carrying the sucker around I was able to get in to see the urologist for next steps.
I was super nervous before my appointment from hearing various friends' sagas about Urologists, but all in all the visit was fine. A new x-ray showed the stone had not budged at all which accounted for me not having any pain for the last few weeks. We discussed that the best option would be Sonic Wave Lithrotripsy. It's an outpatient surgery that requires general anesthesia because the procedure is painful during but relatively low pain afterwards. Due to the stone being so high in the ureter it was really the only option other then waiting.
The day of the procedure I was super nervous. I had never had any form of surgery and nobody was going to be sitting with me during the procedure due to jacked up schedules and me feeling it was suppose to go off without much to do. Dad dropped me off and Mom was gonna come get me and watch me for the 12 hours required afterwards due to the anesthesia mostly.
It was pretty interesting getting prepped for the ordeal - especially since this was my first. The nurses hooked me up to an IV and left me lying there for a good half hour before the procedure which was a bit odd. I saw some poor toddler come out of a circumcision *OUCH* The anesthesiologist came and met with me and asked a lot of questions which I answered as honestly as I could about my health and then so did the urologist. It seemed that asthma was a theme which freaked me out a bit due to some small struggles I have with it but I was honest about all I knew.
Then they wheeled me to the back. I remember the table being super hard and it had a piece that dropped out beneath the lower back for the shock wave machine. I felt vulnerable, scared, excited (to have that stupid stone gone), etc. I thought the operating room was super fun too. There was great 80s music playing in the background, the nurses and Dr were really fun and relaxed. Next thing I know I must have had the anesthesia through my IV because I got super tired and they were trying to tell me to imagine a warm vacation but all I recall was a funny joke they made about the cute male nurse and buffing the floor with him. LOL
I woke up from what I thought was anesthesia...I felt this horrible blockage in my throat and I wasn't really fully waking up...just sort of coming in and out of consciousness. I thought maybe that was normal because as I've stated I've never gone under. First I saw my brother, looking at me in an odd way...he looked concerned and sad and just starred. I felt like I was choking. I got sick to my stomach. I fell out of consciousness. I woke up again. I saw my mom. She looked like she was concerned and trying to be strong. I was confused about this thing blocking my air wave...why wasn't anyone helping me?! Why did everyone look so scared? I was just waking up from the procedure right?
Finally, after the second vomiting stint and becoming more conscious I heard a nurse say 'At the count of three take a deep breath OUT', so I did as instructed. They were pulling out a breathing tube I had to have due to respiratory failure upon the Urologist trying to wake me up. I had been rushed to the hospital and been in the ICU for several hours. Everyone had looked so concerned because I was knocking on heaven's door; however, thanks to the quick acts of my medical folks and the hospital being so near I didn't go into respiratory arrest so no damage was done.
My throat is super raw from the tube, my body feels like it was run over by a truck from all the emergency personnel trying to get me breathing. I am so glad I was out of it the whole time, I could not imagine experiencing that while fully aware. The extent of what happened didn't fully hit me until I saw my discharge papers and upon leaving my mom starting to cry so hard she was weeping and shaking.
Anyways, hopefully the medical drama is over for good now! I hope to write about happy happenings in my life in the near future. Since I for sure have a future now. YIKES.
God isn't done with me yet.....
5:10 PM
One year ago yesterday, I almost 'lifted off' as the quote states. I had and still do have much unfinished business but I try to remember that I need to live each day as if it was the last now. I'm only 32 years old and single...I had no will written out so my family would know what to do, and most of my friends didn't even know I was going in for surgery because it was suppose to be really routine...just breaking up some VERY stubborn kidney stones. I guess you just never know when your time will be so you need to be somewhat prepared so you don't leave your loved ones in any more stress then they would already be under. Anyways, I wish I had some deep thoughts to leave you with...something that I learned from it all or came away with. I really have no words of wisdom other then live with no regrets and always be prepared. Make lots of memories!
I've decided to post here the blogs I wrote on my myspace account back when this happened so you can have greater insight to just how lucky I was to walk away...God must not have yet prepared a place for me.
_____________________________________________________________
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Kidney Stoned
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Life
It was the worst of times, it was the worse of times...
So, imagine this....you plan a fun vacation to visit an old friend, the only fun thing you have planned the WHOLE year. The two of you have gathered a list of all the things to do and see in the week you will be gone. Life seems great.
Then it happens.
2 weeks before your trip, you notice blood in your urine. VISIBLE blood. You go to the Dr who can not determine why this is occurring and wants you to 'wait a few weeks' to see if anything changes. UHM HELLO!?!?! I know you are a trained professional but how can something like that be OKAY to wait on especially when I'm leaving on vacation!!!!
1 week before the trip the forest surrounding the lake you plan to camp at starts on fire and is only 55% contained by the end of that week....PLAN B PLEASE
and then it happens, 2 days before your trip you wake up before anyone else in the world is stirring with a sharp shooting pain to the left of your abdomen that expands to your left lower back. You lay there in denial. Maybe it was something I ate...I'll just roll over and wait for it to go away, but it doesn't. Then the nausea and vomiting set in. It's 430 in the morning and if you've ever experienced this pain you know it's your damn kidney passing a stone. You make endless calls to your friends and family in hopes they will wake up to rush you to the hospital so you don't have to call 911(oh the embarrassment and fee!) HOWEVER, NOBODY is answering. You can't drive yourself to the ER due to the throwing up and being fetaled up in the riling pain you're experiencing. Eventually, an angel in disguise returns your call 2 hours later and answers your plea for help.
Well, happy STINKING vacation to me. Instead of soaking up the rays and sights in California this week I am stuck at home trying to pass a kidney stone and after two visits to the ER still no luck. Urologists are apparently more patient about these things and will not even let you in their office until a good 3 weeks have passed. I was thinking this morning how ridiculous this all is. Anyone in health care will agree (and those fellow Kidney Stoners) that this pain is WORSE then having a baby and who the heck tells a women going into labor to go home and see what happens first?!?!?! So I have to live off of nausea meds, 800 mgs of Motrin every 4 hours (which yes does mean me having to wake up twice during the night to stay on top of the pain), and if worse comes to worse hit the narcotics - OH and did I mention you have to strain your pee?!?!?! This will not be possible once I have to return to work on Monday.
Anyways, I am very depressed about all of this for many different reasons and had to vent. Thanks for the ear America. Cheers to stone free living.
Hope you are having a fun week without me kolt!
______________________________________
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Current mood: thankful
Category: Life
Please see *Kidney Stoned* prior to reading this blog for background....
Okay, the saga never ends. If I didn't know me I'd think I was a drama queen FOR SURE! So, my kidney stone that altered my vacation plans? Well, it never went away on it's own. After 3+ weeks of carrying the sucker around I was able to get in to see the urologist for next steps.
I was super nervous before my appointment from hearing various friends' sagas about Urologists, but all in all the visit was fine. A new x-ray showed the stone had not budged at all which accounted for me not having any pain for the last few weeks. We discussed that the best option would be Sonic Wave Lithrotripsy. It's an outpatient surgery that requires general anesthesia because the procedure is painful during but relatively low pain afterwards. Due to the stone being so high in the ureter it was really the only option other then waiting.
The day of the procedure I was super nervous. I had never had any form of surgery and nobody was going to be sitting with me during the procedure due to jacked up schedules and me feeling it was suppose to go off without much to do. Dad dropped me off and Mom was gonna come get me and watch me for the 12 hours required afterwards due to the anesthesia mostly.
It was pretty interesting getting prepped for the ordeal - especially since this was my first. The nurses hooked me up to an IV and left me lying there for a good half hour before the procedure which was a bit odd. I saw some poor toddler come out of a circumcision *OUCH* The anesthesiologist came and met with me and asked a lot of questions which I answered as honestly as I could about my health and then so did the urologist. It seemed that asthma was a theme which freaked me out a bit due to some small struggles I have with it but I was honest about all I knew.
Then they wheeled me to the back. I remember the table being super hard and it had a piece that dropped out beneath the lower back for the shock wave machine. I felt vulnerable, scared, excited (to have that stupid stone gone), etc. I thought the operating room was super fun too. There was great 80s music playing in the background, the nurses and Dr were really fun and relaxed. Next thing I know I must have had the anesthesia through my IV because I got super tired and they were trying to tell me to imagine a warm vacation but all I recall was a funny joke they made about the cute male nurse and buffing the floor with him. LOL
I woke up from what I thought was anesthesia...I felt this horrible blockage in my throat and I wasn't really fully waking up...just sort of coming in and out of consciousness. I thought maybe that was normal because as I've stated I've never gone under. First I saw my brother, looking at me in an odd way...he looked concerned and sad and just starred. I felt like I was choking. I got sick to my stomach. I fell out of consciousness. I woke up again. I saw my mom. She looked like she was concerned and trying to be strong. I was confused about this thing blocking my air wave...why wasn't anyone helping me?! Why did everyone look so scared? I was just waking up from the procedure right?
Finally, after the second vomiting stint and becoming more conscious I heard a nurse say 'At the count of three take a deep breath OUT', so I did as instructed. They were pulling out a breathing tube I had to have due to respiratory failure upon the Urologist trying to wake me up. I had been rushed to the hospital and been in the ICU for several hours. Everyone had looked so concerned because I was knocking on heaven's door; however, thanks to the quick acts of my medical folks and the hospital being so near I didn't go into respiratory arrest so no damage was done.
My throat is super raw from the tube, my body feels like it was run over by a truck from all the emergency personnel trying to get me breathing. I am so glad I was out of it the whole time, I could not imagine experiencing that while fully aware. The extent of what happened didn't fully hit me until I saw my discharge papers and upon leaving my mom starting to cry so hard she was weeping and shaking.
Anyways, hopefully the medical drama is over for good now! I hope to write about happy happenings in my life in the near future. Since I for sure have a future now. YIKES.
God isn't done with me yet.....
5:10 PM
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