No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone. - Wendy Wasserstein, Isn't It Romantic, 1983

Written over Memorial Weekend:
Tonight I'm thinking a lot about the 'younger days'...maybe in light of my recent thoughts around identity and such. I remember when Spring/Summer/Fall Holiday weekends were something to really look forward to: BBQs, hanging with a group of friends, camping in the warmer months, laughing hysterically, reminiscing on our histories together, late nights around the campfire, game nights and just plain NOT being alone.

Now, at 32, this all seems a distant memory. Such gatherings are far and few between, but why? I realize it's because I'm most likely not making the opportunities and obviously friends' lives have changes in many ways too (marriage, children, etc). I've cut myself out of the world in so many ways without realizing it. It has been a slow lure into the seduction of choosing to be unknown. Not calling friends. Making excuses to not hang out. Convincing myself that by calling friends it would disrupt their lives and families, etc. LIES!

The truth is our friends love us just as much now as they did when our lives shared more commonalities. So, why have I built up these lies in my head? I long to be known by and to know others but at this point in life it's easier to do without. Everytime a friend moves on into another facet of live it's like you are losing them all over again. Ultimately, I suppose to goes back to 'it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all' even in the realm of our friendships.

Later, Raini